A few curious things happened last week, and dear reader, I wish to share them with you.
Over the weekend, three complete strangers told me that they loved me…apropos of nothing…
On Tuesday at work, two consultants at work both remarked on my appearance (one male, one female – both incredibly positive comments).
On Thursday on a jaunt to Sainsburys, a lad of about 17 tried to flirt with me…that was seriously weird.
And Friday morning, a wonderful friend of mine told me how wonderful I looked. Yeah, he could just be paying me lip service, but I know him too well and if I looked terrible, he’d sugar coat it a little, but still tell me.
Now, these incidents are complete coincidence and, I’ll admit it, they made me smile and feel okay.
On the other side of this, my arch nemesis declared to my colleagues (not to me, she’s ignoring me still despite everything that’s happened) that her daughter is being bullied at school and how horrible it is. Cue the colleagues (some of whom stood by and did nothing as I was victimised and bullied) voiced their opinions on the subject:
“Oh it must be really stressful for her”, “I bet she doesn’t want to go to school” and my favourite “this really needs to be sorted out, and hopefully the head will sit them both down to do this”….
No-one could seem to see that this is EXACTLY what happened (and, to some extent is still happening) to me. I’m being ignored on purpose by this woman, over something that wasn’t my fault. I admit, now that I’m feeling a little better mentally, I’m finding it really quite comical – what a difference some medication and therapy can do, huh? Whenever the two of us are in the office together and someone else comes in, she makes a beeline to talk to them, regardless of who they are or whether she likes them or not. It’s pathetic but laughing at how ridiculous the situation is is helping. WHY could I not have done this all those months back?
So, what I gleaned from this is they perceive that bullying of a child is WORSE than bullying of an adult. I’d argue that bullying of any human being is pretty shit, in all fairness, but there we are. As for me and her sitting down and sorting it out, in the early stages of my spell off work, (signed off on the Wednesday, called to a meeting ON SITE the following Wednesday – I was terrified and burst into tears on the bus because I didn’t havethe correct change) mediation was offered to me. I accepted, not because I wanted to, but I wanted to show willing. It seems to have been forgotten about now, and if I’m honest, I’m relieved. I am feeling stronger, yes, but I don’t think I’m strong enough to sit in a room with someone who treated me so appallingly, who had (and continues to have) some sort of power hold over me and my emotions. So, for the time being, I think I’ll just stick to sitting here, listening to my iPod, joining in the occasional conversation when its general nonsense chit chat, playing a version of myself that is Work Tara Mk2.
Work Tara Mk1 had a major malfunction back in February, but it’d been on the fritz for about six months previous.
The replacement model seems a little happier, a little quieter and less sensitive to office atmospheres. It seems to be doing well, although I’m sure there’s room for improvement…